Friday, June 10, 2011

The Ongoing Chair Conflict

Wednesday happened to be my last day with students until the fall. It was sad and the next day of clean-up met a me full of remorse and nostalgia for little people that I had seen less then 24 hours ago.


At this point, you're probably wondering why I bring up the classroom thing in the first place. You might be saying, 'If I wanted to read a blog about an assistant pre-kindergarten teacher I would have found one! This blog is supposed to be about Wegner's and the odd chick who decided to write about her experiences with it!"

And I would say, "I'm getting to that."

I bring up the class for a couple of reasons A: I teach very small children and B: small children require small chairs and C: small chairs require small, knee cap level tables and finally D: no one ever tells you that part of being a teacher means climbing on top of furniture in order to hang things up and take things down.

Another thing that you might know, or maybe not, is that methotrexate has a side effect that causes massive bruising (as well as a few other not so pleasant side effects that include cancer of all things. Cancer? Isn't this used to treat cancer? I guess you fight fire with fire...).

Back to my little narrative, though. So Wednesday comes along, the children are all excited and even though they have grown over the year, they are still very short. As I walk down the small aisle between our two tables one of the students suddenly decides to stand up. I mean, really suddenly. I mean, she probably, actually jumped up. Even if she was tall enough for me to see while I carry things in my hands that block my vision, her movements were to quick for me to maneuver away from. Cheetah speed, these kids have. I do not kid.

So, my leg is suddenly not where I had planned on it being. It has been replaced by a small child. At this point someone needs to start playing catastrophe music, or possibly the Benny Hill theme. Half of me is trying not to step on or fall on the child while the other half of me hadn't yet realized what was going on.

Previously, I have already come to the decision that the little chairs are waging a war of some sort on us taller humans. The chair wrapped itself around the leg that hadn't figured things out yet and I found myself tipping over like some kind of surprised tree.

At least my arms know the score, one of them attempted to catch my fall and became the casualty in this little trip. It caught the edge of another chair, preventing my face plant and quite possibly the squishing of a small child but it came home a little black. Bruising.

This isn't the first time this has happened, no. Some of us were not named Grace for a reason and are not known for their ability to walk and breath at the same time. Add in methotrexate and you have a very colorful person that would be better served wrapped in bubble wrap.

I had done fairly well on the bruising thing until Spring. I was doing so well, in fact, that I thought I might make it through just fine. That was, until I had to hang up some student artwork. This adventure saw me climbing on chairs and tables and in my concern about one of the tables tipping over I over stepped a chair. I did find out it is possible to stand on a surface that is well on its way to having a 90 degree angle to the floor, but I also found out that small bumps can result in huge bruises when you are on certain medications.

                                                           It's like a rainbow on my leg!

If you can ignore the pasty white paleness of it, that's the kind of bruising I'm talking about. That picture was also taken almost a week and a half AFTER the incident in question and it was still growing. That bruise was there for almost two months, the area is still tender to the touch, though the color is gone. The good news. I wasn't too concerned about blood clots... if my blood is now that thin.... (please don't take what I say as sound medical advice, I have been known to ignore things, I had three posts just on that subject alone!) I did end up showing it to my doctor, I was concerned that it might get infected. I figured it was just my luck.

There are no pictures of my wrist as it just happened a couple of days ago and is in a really awkward spot. It probably also won't get this big. 

To recap- methotrexate causes bruising, bad bruising. If you're on it try to avoid small chairs at all costs. They are not your friends. They will do everything they can to destroy you! Beware!

(Ha ha, I bet you thought  I was going to talk about walking into tables. Just know that, just because it wasn't spoken of, doesn't mean it didn't happen. I need to wear knee pads or something)

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