Have you ever had one of those times where your listening to some music and a song comes on that seems to fit your mood absolutely perfect? Cause it just happened to me.
The song is called Lonely Girl by the fierce lady P!nk. I'm not going to debate whether you think the song or artist is good or not, so kindly keep your thoughts to yourself.
I know it seems adolescent and immature to say that "This song totally fits my life" but as music is an expression of feelings it stands to reason that someone somewhere is going to capture what you might be feeling and express it in such a way that others can maybe know a little bit.
If you read this blog in any capacity you know I've had a pretty rough year, from diagnosis where I almost died to last month, which was particularly hellish and I've had to re-evaluate a lot of what I thought my life was very recently.I try not to let it bother me, I try to keep a positive attitude and think that these things are temporary, but sometimes life has a way of trying to overwhelm you.
Overall the entire song speaks to me, but these lines in particular "I'm lookin' for a way to become The person that I dreamt of when I was sixteen Oh, nothin' is ever enough Ooh, baby, it ain't enough for what it may seem"actually caused me to stop what I was doing.
Right now it seems like no matter what I do, in any area of my life, is enough. For every step forward I try to make, I seem to make two steps back. In my life and treatments. Yet I am still going to keep pushing forward, if one way doesn't work I am going to try something else. My dreams may have to be tweaked or put on hold, but I am going to keep striving for them.
If any of you that read this blog feel the same, know that you are not alone and that we must keep fighting!