Joy

Get an understanding of what you need to thrive rather than a list of things you have to do.

I got this from the Wegener's group page today and had to share it for a while. 

Sit. Just contemplate the meaning of the words. 

 

 

 

Are you done? Good. I think this is probably a good idea for everyone, not just people who have chronic illnesses.  Living for things that help you thrive alleviates depression which can be a big problem for people suffering from chronic illnesses. Specifically since, at least in the case of Wegener's the disease and its treatments can be debilitating. Most days have some sort of pain in them, and my energy level certainly is not what it used to be. 

This has made me decide that I would really like to conserve my limited resources for things that I love. Teaching, working with children is something that brings me joy. Once public school starts up again I will be doing just that. I love to feel like I have made a difference in the world which is one reason why I think rescuing a puppy has done wonders for me. 

This "little" guy, leaning on my tummy

 Yes, he frustrates me sometimes, but for the most part when I look at him I think that, if we hadn't rescued him when we did he wouldn't be alive right now. No one wanted him, he was skin and bones, he'd been beaten, horribly abused and then dumped out in the wilderness to fend for himself. He needed surgery and medication when we brought him home but now he is flourishing. I am even contemplating bringing him to class one day so the kids can see him. 

Things like this are what makes me thrive. I need to stop thinking about what I "need to do in my life" and what I "should be doing right now" because, frankly, I can't do some of those things right now, they are just out of my reach. So what if I have to take a few months off school until I can start feeling better again, it doesn't mean I won't ever go back. There are reasons why I am not out doing things other people my age are, why I still live with my parents and other social ineptitudes I seem to suffer from. Why I have moon face and would rather not look in a mirror. Focusing on these things makes me feel poorly which will only serve to set me back further. 

No, I shouldn't ignore these things completely, denial won't do me any good either. Having a pity party can be helpful sometimes. Just not all the time. 

So, to move away from the dark I need to look towards what I need in my life to make me happy so that I can thrive. 

Somehow I think that this post doesn't make much sense, but I just wrote the thoughts as they came to me. I've been receiving treatment for 8 months now and am still going through periods of anger and depression brought on by having a chronic illness and aggravated by some of the meds I take. I wonder if they will ever go away?